Today was Mason's blessing day. I have dreamed about having my baby blessed long before I ever had babies... better yet, long before I was even married. As a young girl, I loved watching fast Sunday's where there would be a baby blessing in our ward. I loved watching these cute Dads that held the priesthood go up and give their baby a blessing. I always wanted to make sure I found a Man/husband/Dad that could bless our baby someday.
I did.
A great man/husband/dad too.
As I started preparing for this day weeks ago it only felt right to include Boston on this special day. I decided that I would make a banner with each of their names and make sure to decorate with a picture of Mason wearing Daddy's necklace that has Boston's name on it. It was perfect.
After preparing food, finding a blessing outfit, decorating, setting up, etc, etc, I felt like I wanted to go somewhere quiet where I could be alone with my thoughts. This morning I woke up early and listened to some of my favorite hymns as I was getting ready. Heath and I knelt at our bed and I said a prayer for us, a prayer for Mason and a prayer for Boston, that we would be able to feel him near.
Mason woke up all smiles this morning almost like he knew it was a special day. Not almost, I know he knew it was a special day. He is always such a happy baby, but last night he didn't get to bed until midnight so i was a little worried about what this morning would bring. We got him dressed and ready and headed to the church. While driving, I told Heath i had butterflies. He said he did too. We had been excited for this day, but sad that Boston wasn't physically here with us. We knew it was going to be a day, yet again for all kinds of emotions.
We got to church and got situated. Soon it was time for Mason to get blessed. The church was packed seeing that there were 2 other babies getting blessed. Mason was first. Heath gave him a beautiful blessing and got emotional giving it. I got emotional too. My brother Tom who was also in the blessing circle said that Mason was just staring up at his Daddy the entire blessing. I know for a fact Boston was there watching over his little brother. I felt it.
I got up to bear my testimony. I had so many things that I wanted to say, but getting up in front of so many people gets me every time. I have been feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for my family and friends. We have had so much support. I forgot to tell my sister Jill how grateful I am for her through this whole tragedy because she sadly enough knows my pain. She lost her sweet boy Gage 4 years ago this year. He was only 4 1/2 years old. I have leaned on her a lot. She gets it. I forgot to tell Mason how grateful I am for him and for the opportunity that I get to be his mom. He makes life so GOOD. I cannot imagine life without him. HE is the happiest, most pleasant personality, best baby. I just can't get enough of him. I love staring into his big blue eyes, singing "Hello" to him (which he loves) and seeing his big smile. He lights up my heart and my life.
After church was over, my mom came up to me and gave me a big hug and told me how proud of me she was. She told me how strong I was and how awesome she thought I was. She got emotional when she said it and it meant so much to me to hear that from her.
We spent our time afterwards with our family and friends. Everyone loved holding Mason. My niece Gentry got to hold him for the first time and was so excited about it. Before she held him, she was talking to me while I changed Mason's diaper. She told me that her Mommy was having a boy baby and that she wanted to name him Fischer. Gentry said she didn't like that name and that she wanted to name her baby brother Gage. She went on to say that she couldn't name him Gage because they already had a Gage, but he was dead. It broke my heart to hear her say that. I told her that she was about Mason's age when she was in the car accident that claimed the life of her brother. We continued the conversation a few minutes later when she asked my what my other baby's name was again. She asked where Boston was and I said he was in heaven with Gage. She said and heavenly father right? I said Yes. She asked why? I said because he got sick with a really bad infection in his tummy. Mason started fussing just a little at this point and Gentry looked at me and said April, I think he is crying because he misses his brother. It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Child like innocence is the best. I love that little girl.
Today was such a special day for my little family. I have felt saddened as I dame home after the day was done and everyone had gone home. I felt sad as i wondered what Boston would've looked like in his blessing outfit. I felt sad thinking about the love that I have for Mason ans how that love just keeps growing with time. Time i didn't get with Boston.
Today marked exactly 4 months to the very day that we watched as Heath and other members of my family gathered around Boston and gave him a name and blessing right before we took him off life support. It was so noisy due to the ventilator that was breathing for him, but I am grateful Heath was able to do that. We miss Boston everyday. Today we celebrate the time we got to spend with Boston and the time we continue to spend with Mason.
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